The soul within me gets a visitor

I’m suppose to write about my life like it’s interesting. Like vivid imagery and captive stories about working in bars and watching boundless amounts of Netflix will change the world. I’m not naive to think that this blog will have any impact on a single other soul in the world. But it hopefully will have an impact on the soul within me. And for now, I believe that is enough. And if there happens to be another independent being out in the world that can have a laugh or relate to anything that I am saying then well…

Recently, a close friend of mine came to visit me. This wasn’t her first time visiting my home town and it probably won’t be her last. 10562926_10205299337751535_7381493057789479274_nHer presence is an always-welcome change of pace to my own life. Mainly because she makes me ‘lol’ like never before and also because we remind each other of such a simpler time. We met when we lived in a tiny town on the west coast of France. Life then had no end or boundary, all of it was attainable and boy were we going places. Now that both of us have been state-side for several years, we have found ourselves stuck in that seemingly never-ending rut after college. She’s working like a dog at a job that she despises so she can live debt free and go after what she really wants. Admirable right? It is, however her current life is at a stand-still until she can start doing what she really enjoys.

I can relate to this. If you’d asked me 6 years ago what I wanted to do after college. I would have told you that I wanted to be a kick-ass marine biologist working for some fancy marine research institute and ultimately setting the world of environmental studies on fire. Honestly, had you asked me even a mere 3 years ago and this would’ve undoubtedly been my answer. Only I would have answered the question immediately to avoid acknowledging the developing doubt in my brain. School had begun to drain everything from me and I hadn’t yet noticed how much sadness it was creating. Today, I’m about as far from being a world-famous marine biologist as I ever thought I would be. I did (barely) graduate from a university with a BS in Marine Biology but the only proof I have of it is overwhelming nausea from the experience and a really expensive piece of paper. To add insult to injury it just hangs on my wall mocking me.

Ask me today that same question. Where do you want to be? The easiest answer is anywhere but here. I am that girl that wants to constantly be out of her head and out of her skin. Just recently while backpacking in South East Asia I found myself often fantasizing about my next trip. I have to remind myself constantly to enjoy where I am now. Take it in. This is oh! so difficult to do when where I am currently is flat, habitual, and lifeless. There is no difficulty in my day, other than getting out of bed and actually beginning it. I’m not here to write a 500 word post complaining about how my life sucks. I’m here to remind myself and encourage others to get out of that rut. That’s currently what I am trying to do. I want to write. I want to travel. Most importantly I want to get up everyday looking forward to what the day could possibly bring. Even if what it brings is chaos and destruction. The way I see it my life could use a little excitement.

So this is your sign. Go after whatever it is that has been nipping at your heels.


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