Life is weird. The little details that add up over the course of your life can take the wind out of you when you realize what the summation is. And it can be strange to think how easily you could have missed the spot where you’re standing if one of those miniscule details didn’t happen. To think if a microscopic fraction of your life had gone differently; where would you be standing now? It’s got me wondering how the decisions I’ve made, how the decision others have made, and how the universe have shaped the path that has risen up to meet me. How is it exactly that I’ve arrived in 2016 standing in front of someone who I loved 10 years ago and haven’t stopped thinking of since.
It’s been put into perspective just how long 10 years is; and how fast and how slow the time goes. How the person who I was 10 years ago is a stark and naïve comparison to who I am now. How strange it is that two people who believed they were destined to be apart could in fact grow towards each other, following each other’s footsteps blindly in the night. Is it fate? Is the universe giving me a sign that I’ve longed for my whole life? Or is that a silly notion belonging in the same box as fairy tales and myth? Who is to say? Can I trust it to be a fairytale; something a kin to the stories I tell myself at night to get to sleep? Can fate be trusted? Fate is written but you don’t get to see the end. So if I, someone of sound mind and education, someone reasonable, someone scientific believe that the universe is standing in front of me with giant foam fingers screaming “You idiot! This is your f*cking sign!” then it’s probably fairly valid, right?
So my big question is: is the universe fighting for me? Is it trying, with all its might, to move two bodies it deems soul mates closer together. Because I can’t tell anymore and I am two scared to climb up to the mountains and ask the universe point blank. The universe has a tendency to not answer and occasionally be a dick. Okay, more than occasionally. Perhaps our souls had been intertwined long before our bodies had and since we divided the universe has slowly and without our knowing led us back to each other. Is that a legitimate hope? Or a naïve musing of a girl carrying around a ten-year old heart break?